Play bad

Oh, I rivered two pair...that completes the flush. Let me check/call. Oh, you slowplayed a set. Very well. AT22T. Okay, I'll call your PSB with an Ace. Oh, you had a Ten all along. Well done.

OM: Oh, I made my straight, I'll bet it. Oh, you made the backdoor flush. Oops.

Oh, you keep check/raising and floating me. Are you sure you wouldn't rather die in a fire?

Even though I got paid off with two sets and one overpair, I think I at best broke even. 50% VPIP owns. I gave up cbetting in the end. Folded AA when I checked behind on monotone Queen-high flop, called a bet on the turn, folded to his push on the river. So much for pot control.

Two sets, one IP, one OOP. IP I raise, AA pushes a wet flop, 8-high flop. Um, shall I call with middle set? Yes, why not...Flopped second nuts after calling 3bet OOP. I was pretty sure I had the implied odds. TTh4h. Check, AA bets $10 (ho ho ho, you tricky fuck), I call, other guy folds. 7d on the turn, I check, he bets $21. Fuck, I raise all-in, I don't think you will call...snapcall. He misses two outs once. He then tilts off rest with A9 when big loser makes a bad call with TT on K9x flop.

Oh, I did manage to busto an annoying frak with quad 5's. 55x flop, I pot from BB, he calls (and he'd been calling me down stupid light while I had King high). Turn 9 or something. I bet, he raises, I make a bad call, probably with fucking 3 kicker. River 5, I check, he pushes rest of it in. I regret not slowrolling but, yes, quads are goot. And then he was the guy whom my overpair held against on a QJ9r flop, I raise KK UTG on my last hand, he calls. Flop is the aforementioned, I cbet, he minraises. You know what? Fuck it, I'll pay you off, raise your last $10. I type 'fine' in the chatbox and do it. There you go KT/J9/QJ/Q9 have it. He thinks for awhile. Oh? You don't have me beat? Is that possible? He has to call with JTo. Turn: 6. HAH! River: 6. HAHAH! Fucking little piece of shit. HA!

Oh, and my AA got cracked early in the session. Ten high flop w/ FD, OOP against station type guy. 75%, call. 66%, call. 58% call. Oh, well done, you rivered two pair. NICE! This hand was played well by me, I think. Although stackadonking the turn might have worked if I thought he was aggressive enough to bet it if checked too.

Conclusion: Do not call. Let me say that again: DO NOT CALL. I have a tendency to call with too weak a hand. A9s hand, he's raising QTo UTG, and betting an AQ2 flop small. Raise the flop. It doesn't matter if WHF, raise the flop. Or call the flop, raise the turn. DO NOT CALL THE FUCKING RIVER. You have position, he's betting into you. Evaluate the hand. Does it look like second pair which just rivered you? Yes/No.

KQo, turn and river fucked you by giving you two pair...but you still played it badly. You turn top pair: Bet. Do not check/call. River completes the flush. Do not check/call. Bet/fold...and by bet, I mean block. Why is b/f superior? Because you set the price not him. If he calls with a better hand, so be it. If he raises you with nothing, NH, WP. It is still far superior when you hand is too weak to c/c with. If he has a worse hand, he can check behind and you win nothing. If he has a better hand, he can valuebet it.

Oh, and FORGET THE OMAHAHA. Small stakes O8 sucks. It involves 6 players to every flop, raised or unraised. 3 or 2 players to every river. It's only fun/profitable when you have idiots who do not know how to play it, or people who don't pay enough attention to the board like me. Oh, backdoor flush just got there, and I have the nut straight. Wee, bet into two people. Oh, I have the idiot end of the nut straight, let's get it all-in. If you're going to nut peddle, do it fucking right or not at all.

BET/FOLD. FUCK SHORTSTACKS. FUCK 50% VPIP STATIONS.

Time to order a new computer, I think.